I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
