Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
