Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
