I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
