I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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