I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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