you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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