You're so nebulous sometimes
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
