that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize