Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
