yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
