I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
