i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
