I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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