Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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