...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize