We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
