Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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