I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
