Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
