do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
