Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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