please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
These tits shall not be calmed
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
