Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
