We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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