You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
