that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
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