Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
