Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize