every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
