we have officially lost it.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
where am i from again
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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