It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
