I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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