I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
