You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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