i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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