we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
