remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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