Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
