I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize