i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
