I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
