she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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