She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
