What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
