You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
