so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
