I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize