I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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