You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
