You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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