from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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