I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
