I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
