i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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