So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
