He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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