Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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