32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
