But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
