the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
