Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
