Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
