im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize