I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
