so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
