someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
