you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
